The last time I opened my computer was in September of LAST year...how is that possible? I tend to have a lot to say and really enjoy sharing with you all. But my goodness it’s been a little crazy to say the least. Believe it or not we are about to have another baby BOY; that’s right, this will be our fourth boy in four years. Our oldest, Anthony, just turned four a few weeks ago and Leo, our middle is two-in-a-half, then Luca, our youngest (not for long) just turned one! I know, I know, this seems crazy and almost impossible but we are excited! We will be welcoming our sweet boy soon and he will be greeted with three older brothers who can’t wait to play.
Are we done you ask? I think so...if you ask my husband he will say absolutely we are done; but there are times I am not so sure and wonder if we will have another one. I mean, what’s another at this point, haha! Can I be honest though; I am hoping others can relate to this, but I sometimes wonder if I am only thinking about having another baby because I wonder if we are going to finally have a girl. Does that make sense? Please don’t read that wrong, I LOVE that I am about to have four boys and I would love it if I had FIVE boys; I just can’t help but think about what it would be like if we had a girl. I continue to pray about this and for my heart to be in the right place. You’re probably thinking, calm down, you haven’t even had your fourth...well that’s just how my mind works and I can’t tell you how many times I get asked, “Oh go for that girl next.” I usually kindly laugh when I hear that comment.
My husband and I just celebrated our eight year wedding anniversary and got the chance to have a little getaway for a couple days. It was lovely and we needed it! It can be hard getting alone time when you have multiple kids and young kids for that matter. We enjoyed some good sleep and quiet, uninterrupted conversations. We talked about how I have literally been pregnant for about four years out of our eight year marriage. That can be physically and emotionally draining at times. But we always go back to how much of a blessing it has been because we struggled for so long to get pregnant and then having to go through IVF with our firstborn, Anthony. Now, here we are about to have our fourth boy (all three have been natural) and just thanking God for these kids.
Friends, here’s where we are going to dive deep... let me be honest (again) about being a mom of almost four boys, four and under; it has not been easy by any means. In fact, I have said this before, but I have to ask for more forgiveness for my motherhood than I do for anything else in this season of life. Meaning, being a mom has been the BEST but it also exposes the worst sin in me….selfishness, pride, impatience, anger and more. There have been times at night I pray just asking God to humble me and to help me see my ugliness in that and to truly repent and ask God to help me do better. Who am I to think I can do this without God? There are days that I don’t ask God for help and I get through the day more exhausted, angry and annoyed. I tend to act like my four year old. I am embarrassed to admit that but I know I am not alone in this...right? As moms we can sometimes be so busy that we feel like we have ZERO time to ourselves and we are just stuck in this mundane routine with our littles. I know I have felt that many times, but let me share some encouragement with you; we are NOT meant to do this alone. We are meant to ask for help. Even if it’s just a whisper, because God knows we don’t get 30 minutes a day to do our devotion/prayer in the quiet of the morning as often as we’d like. Take that pressure away and whisper to God for help, for strength, for wisdom and my biggest prayer is for PATIENCE. If we are going to disciple these precious kids we need to be equipped and we need God. When I wake up in the morning I try to ask God before I even go wash my face to give me strength for the day to help raise my boys well and to have the patience for it. Let me tell you, when I do that I notice a shift in my heart; I really do! We may not have a perfect day but I feel the difference when I don’t ask God for His help.
Now, as I close out this blog post and sit here 38 weeks pregnant I want to say thank you for taking the time to read this and for your support! I love to be real and honest, and I love relationships...as of now God has given me a small platform to share virtually with you all and I am thankful for that! I am a stay-at-home mom enjoying this small window of opportunity to be a witness bearer and most importantly to disciple some cute little boys. I’m excited to continue sharing that journey with you.
I want to do a fun little giveaway for someone…and in order to enter you just need to comment on this post and let me know something fun you’re doing this summer.